Bring Me Back, Push me Forward

I often wonder why you cross my mind. I thought you were a thing of the past. Is it because I regret the miserable times I had when I was with you or because I reminisce about the pleasant times we spent together? Is it because I hated the way you treated me or because I loved the way you kissed me?  Is it because I remember your coldness towards me in anger over little things or because I remember your warm embrace and gentle touch? The times you made me feel so little and ugly or the times you made me feel like the most beautiful girl alive?  Should I neglect the bad and embrace the good? Should I focus on the bad and forget about the good? Because when I see you with her, I cringe.  A deep wave of remorse and sympathy cries out from me to the girl. Remorse that she is blinked and sympathy that she will experience what I once did. Yet mixed in the wave are emotions of regret, longing, and jealousy. Regret that I let you go. Longing to be "your girl" again. Jealousy of her wrapped around in your arms.  Was the pain of being with you worth it? Is the pain of not being with you worth it? Yet all I can do is wonder. Wonder why you cross my mind at all.