Hidden

I haven't written in a long while.
Not here, not in my journals, not anywhere.
At least not those entries that reveal transparency.
Why? I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of lies within myself.
I'm afraid to write down what I fear others finding out.
It's easy to let it linger within my head.
It's easy to allow those thoughts to flow in and out of my head at random.
Because at least I know no one else sees them.
At least I know no one else can read them.

I wonder if everyone else can look into my eyes and see the brokenness I face everyday?
I wonder if anyone else stares at me and sees what I see? 

Everyday I am on the brink of tears.
Everyday I wish someone would care enough to pry into my mind and see those thoughts.
Everyday I wish I did not carry around the burdens I care around.
Everyday I wish someone would find me crying alone in my dark room.