"I need help."
These words never seem to roll off my tongue very often. If they do, it's choppy and doesn't roll off my tongue. In fact, I beat around the bush and fancy it up to seem like I'm not really asking for help. I know it's a pride thing. I have gotten myself in this place and I'm going to get myself out... right?
But I find myself in this place time and time again. Unsure of where to go because I have dug myself in a hole so deep and big that I cannot get out alone. I stubbornly sit in this hole and wait for others to find me instead of calling out for help... like I know I need.
So I sit here admitting that I have dug that hole again. I am in a place where I have fallen back into the same patterns and same struggles for the sake of pride. Because I was too stubborn to ask for help when I knew where the path I traveled would lead me to.
I'm broken yet again and at a loss of where to go and what to do. I sit in the bottom of this hole, weeping. I have not strength of my own to call for help.
In a feeble sob, "help" slowly bursts from my mouth, muffled and weak.
But here I am... saying... admitting...
I'm tired of waiting for someone to ask.
I'm tired of sitting in my own deep hole of sin, struggles, and pride.
I, Charity, need help for I cannot do this on my own any longer.
I need help.
1 comment:
I had a feeling! Actually, we don't really "know" each other well, but I have been wanting to say to you, there's so much you're saying without saying it. Does that make since? I wanted to ask you, What is it your are trying to say? I find your silence interesting, but not for long.
You cry for HELP? Help will be found on the cooler.
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