Monday, March 21, 2011

Three Simple Words Are So Hard To Say...

"I need help."

These words never seem to roll off my tongue very often. If they do, it's choppy and doesn't roll off my tongue. In fact, I beat around the bush and fancy it up to seem like I'm not really asking for help. I know it's a pride thing.  I have gotten myself in this place and I'm going to get myself out... right?

But I find myself in this place time and time again. Unsure of where to go because I have dug myself in a hole so deep and big that I cannot get out alone.  I stubbornly sit in this hole and wait for others to find me instead of calling out for help... like I know I need.

So I sit here admitting that I have dug that hole again. I am in a place where I have fallen back into the same patterns and same struggles for the sake of pride. Because I was too stubborn to ask for help when I knew where the path I traveled would lead me to.

I'm broken yet again and at a loss of where to go and what to do.  I sit in the bottom of this hole, weeping. I have not strength of my own to call for help.

In a feeble sob, "help" slowly bursts from my mouth, muffled and weak.

But here I am... saying... admitting...



I'm tired of waiting for someone to ask.

I'm tired of sitting in my own deep hole of sin, struggles, and pride.

I, Charity, need help for I cannot do this on my own any longer.

I need help.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I had a feeling! Actually, we don't really "know" each other well, but I have been wanting to say to you, there's so much you're saying without saying it. Does that make since? I wanted to ask you, What is it your are trying to say? I find your silence interesting, but not for long.

You cry for HELP? Help will be found on the cooler.