Nothing is Beyond Redemption

They say, "You never know what you have until it's gone."

I don't know who "they" are, but they have it right.

As I reflect back, I have been learning not to regret what has happened. Why? Because it's those things, the good and the bad, that shape us into who we are becoming. Instead, I am set on taking each of those moments and learning from them, never allowing myself to go back there again.

But all that said, I am saddened about all the opportunities I have had and how I've wasted them due to my utter selfishness, pride, and greed. I think back to my time at Moody Bible Institute. God gave me an AMAZING opportunity to learn more about Him, to fellowship with amazing believers, and to sit under some godly professors.

I squandered that opportunity because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Instead of submitting to the authority Moody had over my life at that point, I refused to acknowledge it and lost much. I am grateful for second chances and for grace. It's this grace and love with discipline in my life that is leading me back to repentance and into a new life. Now that I am away from Moody, I realized how much I have missed out on because of my selfishness.

I am saddened by how much I have taken advantage of many relationships in my life. In high school, I had an amazing mentor that I talked to and she listened to me. She was truly a godly example in my life. However, I pretty much spit in her face because I wanted to do what I wanted to do.

And while at Moody, I did the same thing to a mentor, a sister, a friend.  She invested 2 1/2 years of her life with me. She welcomed me into her family. She went through my ups and downs with me. She listened when that's all I wanted. She offered advice when I needed it. And all I can think about is the hurt on her face when she found out about everything. All I can see are the tears that flowed from her eyes. My heart broke that day, penetrated right down to the core. Yet despite all of that, she is still there for me. She still prays for me and calls me to see how I'm doing.

And I think about the multiple other relationships in my life and how I've taken advantage of those. You know those people who are in your life everyday and you forget to just enjoy the little things about them.   And then as soon as you are not around them anymore, you realized what you had there. You realize all that they had to offer in your life.

I think about these things constantly, yet I am grateful that God is a God of second chances. That He can take the broken things in our lives and redeem them for His purpose. Our mistakes are not beyond His purpose or His plan. He is Sovereign over them.

Although a lot of these things/people are out of my life at the moment, I can only pray for them and hope that one day I will be given the chance to have them back.  And if/when I do, I will be more careful with them. And I will not squander the opportunity God has given me to learn and to teach.