Oh decisions when hit with a fork

It's interesting. One decision can change the course of your life in a moment. A change in plans can easily throw off your "charted" path. Everytime I go on road trips, it always seems like detours are needed somewhere along the way that makes me later than originally intended. It's as if construction gets in the way. Or with my lack of navigating skills, a wrong turn or unexpected stop throws the plans for a loop. This occurs in life's journey as well, and I am beginning to learn this and painfully as well.

I had plans to work at summer camp, but that dream has died. So then I thought about summer school, but the odds of that diminish day after day. I thought maybe working here on campus, but I'm just gambling on the possibility of that right now. It just seems as if all of it is falling out of my hands slowly. I may be left out of home, school, and job for the summer. Then for spring break. Oh, nothing for that is working out. I think I'm just going to stay on campus and live with Brenton and Amber for the two weeks. Again, with no job. Then next semester. Faith asked if I wanted to move into Jenkins with her and Joy. I excitedly accepted, only to find out that I could not due to my not being Junior status. So I am going to be living here on Smith 6 with Teryn, and getting yet again, a new RA. Who knows, maybe that will turn out for the better. But then I was planning on perhaps taking a semester or two off and do a YWAM DTS. Honestly, I hestitate on pursuing that for fear of having it stripped from my hands. And if I did that, would I wait until Spring semester of my junior year to go, or should I just go this fall? If I go this fall, I will have to be gone for a whole year, which means that I have yet another summer open to possibilities. Then could I just join the Reserves like I had planned on doing since high school? I hate decisions, and I hate even more when decisions explode in my face. It's like I'm doing a chemistry experiment and I have to decide which chemicals to mix together. The only problem is I don't know what will result in me mixing the two chemicals. So I randomly choose one, and hope that it doesn't kill me.

Is life really that much of chance? I don't know. I understand God is in charge, but how do I know where to go from here? How do I know what path he would want me to take when there is a fork in the road? I fear making the wrong decision and then disappointing God. I fear having my parents just shake their heads and say, "I told you so."

Everyone wishes for that neon sign or writing in the sky that will direct them down the right path. But maybe it's not about what paths you take, but who you choose to walk those paths with. If you walk alone, you are prone to question and be unsure. But if you walk with God down them, then He will at least guide you down the right one towards the intended destination, right?