Evil vs. Good

Thursday, May 10, 2007 - I am reminded of the evil that coexists with the good in the world we live in. So often we dare not admit that the evil, or innate ability to sin, will against God, or deny His character in our lives, has presence in who we are and in our character. It penetrates our hearts to a deeper level than we recognize or realize. It ultimately constitutes the way we act, deal with people, and yes, even love. An act of kindness quickly deviates, from possibly beneficent, to pride. Love could easily spring up jealousy, hatred, fear, and anger. I have questioned why such things happen? How something that seems kind-hearted could be a cover for a evil plot or thought? One's ability to think and rationalize for himself is called into question. The mind, unknown to men, and its empirical rationalities have allowed so many to be fooled into an appearance of kindness. Little do I myself recognize this in my own life. Have I fooled myself into thinking that I have overcome evil at every level? I often question whether I have fooled myself into becoming the very person I am today. Have I created a hypothetical character that embodies the very characteristics I desire to have myself? Have I deceived myself into thinking that I am that person, thus conducting myself to do and think as such a person would? Then I simply am reminded of my own evil nature, which struggles against the ordinances of God, and restricts that good.





This is an old post from my Xanga. It's amazing how things slowly progress. How can one mindset swiftly change into the exact opposite? I finished my first year of college nearly a year after this was written. Between the time I graduated high school under the rules and guidance of my parental units with so much security and confidence and the time commemorating my first year of independence and willing education, I have come to embrace the evil in existence, but maybe in an unhealthy way. You see, before that post, I ignored the evil present within my own being. I denied that the bad had any affect on my life. I convinced myself that I had not allowed it to take a stronghold in my life. Boy howdy, was I wrong! But in recognizing that there was this otherside in constant battle with the good, I took the opposite view. If one part of me becomes infected with this "bad", then all of it becomes infected. It's like the Domino Theory presented under the Eisenhower administration for support in going to Vietnam. The Communists, or "the bad", battled in these hot spots, and it was only going to spread more and more, until eventually everything, including the United States, "the good" become Communist (Bad). That's how my mind took this idea of an evil present within me, my flesh. I found it completely hopeless to battle. Why? Because I've been fighting a battle. A continuous battle that I keep on losing. I lose on a good day, and I lose on a bad day. Grant it, I've had minor victories,but the loses outnumber the wins. Have I really begun to allow the evil to win? Have I failed to acknowledge, or rather accept the victory that comes in the Lord?