Scattered Thoughts

Just an update on life:

Today, the Philippines Spring Break team left to ensue ministry opportunities in the Philippines for the next two weeks. Last year, I participated as a part of that team and only hoped to be doing it again. I wanted to minister to the Pilipinas with my whole heart, but God had a different plan.  I would have never have guessed that I would be where I am today.

Daily, I struggle with the idea of where my next pay will come from.  With inconsistent (but quite enjoyable), babysitting jobs, I have learned to be content with where I am in life.  I have learned to enjoy the people around me rather than worry about money.  I have learned to be teachable and allow God to use simple things, including my mistakes, to teach me about life and about Himself. 

Where I used to be surrounded by college students and other people in the same walk of life as I find myself in, I come to a place that holds very little of that. It's easy to grumble and complain about "being alone" and not really having much friends.  But instead, God is teaching me to enjoy those who are around me. To teach and to be taught by people who are older and younger than me.  I have learned much from babies, toddlers, children, teenagers, and even older folk.

I never thought that living with my family, after not seeing them much for 3 1/2 years would prove to be difficult.  But it is. Yet I have learned to serve, instead of expecting to be served. I have learned to combat anger with kindness. I have learned to walk away when things became difficult and futile.  I am learning to expect nothing, but to love liberally. Although I have my moments, God has sustained me.

I'm in the middle of a babysitting job.  The kids are asleep upstairs and the dog is snoring on the couch down here.  I can never really sit around and watch T.V. anymore.  I just sit and think. These times have become a time to process and take things in.  Times to get closer to my Savior rather than times to waste on nothing.  As I walked into the kitchen, a simple notecard reminded me of what I am doing here.

"Where the will of God brings you, the grace of God sustains you." - Author Unknown

God has brought me here to Beaufort for a semester.  Even though I was supposed to graduate in May, I cling to God in hope, knowing that none of my years of schooling would matter if I did not get my relationship with God in order. A diploma from Moody Bible Institute is nothing compared with a deeper relationship with God.  I am here because of the will of God.  And I will continue to persevere only by the grace of God.

So whether I make any money during my time here. Whether I make any friends or hold significant relationships, I don't care as long as I am open to allow God to lead my life. To make changes where changes need to be made. I do the work He calls me to do. To be open to His truth with a teachable and humble spirit. Because that's what matters most.