I was sitting in my room, pondering life and struggle.
You see, I've struggled with different things that take the place of God in my life. And lately, I've struggled more than is necessary.
But as I was praying, I caught notice of my prayers. I was praying as if sin had a hold on my life. I was praying as if I was subject to my sin.
But that's when what I have been reading sunk deep within me:
"For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life." [Romans 6:20-22]
Hope. Note verse 22: "But NOW that you have been SET FREE from sin and have become slaves of God..." So simple, yet so complicated. My attitude shows that I don't believe this. I highlight my imperfections. I complain about my struggles. I have a defeatist attitude when it comes to my sin and my struggles. This is UNBIBLICAL! I've been bond by a lie. Why? Because early in Romans 6, Pauls states,
"We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."
This reminds me of a song by the Christian rap artist Tedashii. The introduction of the songs starts with a section of a John Piper sermon.
"I hear so many Christians murmuring about their imperfections, and their failures, and their addiction, and their shortcomings. And I see so little war! Murmur, murmur, murmur. Why am I this way? Make War!"
That's me! I'm a part of that SO many Christians! I murmur about my sin and yet I do nothing about it. I still believe those lies that tell me that I'm stuck in this sin. I used to read these verses in Romans, but I'm looking at them in a new light! I'm looking at them in belief and in faith! Convinced and convicted by the Holy Spirit.
Look at those verses again! If we believe in Christ's work on the cross to be the necessary sacrifice, then we died! We died to the Law that once bond us to our sin! We died to the sin, the old way of life, and we were RAISED to a new life. A life that is lived in the presence of God. Why? NOT because we have ourselves defeated sin! NO. Because we are ALIVE IN CHRIST.
Man. I can't explain this freedom in my soul. This enlightening of my eyes to the lies and the sins that I once believed. It's weird. But as I study this passage, I am amazed at how complicated I have made my relationship with God. I made it about obeying the right rules and doing everything the right way. But that's not what it's about. It's about living in the presence of God, as a living sacrifice because I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ. I can't do enough to pay that back. I can't do anything to pay it back and I've been trying so hard to do that.
I'm helpless and weak in my flesh, so why do I try to perfect myself in the flesh? I cannot. That's God's job. Note the end of verse 22, "the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life." I can't perfect myself or earn back what Christ has done. But by becoming a slave of God, by obeying God and denying sin, by making war against my flesh with the power of the Spirit, the fruit... the result of that is sanctification.
It's not me. It's all Him. I've been making my battle with sin all about my inability rather than walking in victory, knowing that sin is already dead for those of us who are already in Christ.
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