I'm getting to the point of processing again.  I used to journal all the time. I used to write blogs about different things I've been learning or different ideas I've been struggling through. However, lately, I just haven't been there. I just haven't done that. Why? I don't know. Did I just fall out of the habit? Am I afraid of my thoughts? Have my thoughts been too shallow and foggy lately? I don't have any answers.

But none of it seems to matter anymore. So I'm going to process through this blog. *Ahem* here I go:

When I first got to school, I wouldn't say I was in the best place I've ever been, but I was definitely in a WAY better place than I had been. True I had my struggles, but I wouldn't say those had any affect on my attitude or my mood. I slept well. I ate well. I exercised consistently.

Then, by the 2nd week, everything started to get foggier. My eating began to get sketchy. My exercising not as consistent. My sleep was becoming non-existent. But on top of those things, stress overwhelmed me, depression hit me, and anxiety heightened. Why?

I started thinking about how it was only at Moody that I've felt this way. That I've experienced these things at great intensity. In talking to other people, they have confirmed the same things within themselves. What is it about a school, which focuses on sending people to ministry, that causes its students so much stress and anxiety?

It's definitely spiritual. And it's overwhelming present in many aspects of this school.

I haven't been on my guard. I haven't fought as I should have. Nor have I utilized the many things God has given to fight the spiritual battle.